Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight 2 (2021) Review

The story picked up exactly where the last one left off. The director, Bartosz M. Kowalski, retconned the final scene to make this (the sequel) possible. Immediately turned me off. How the hell he thought it was a good idea to ruin the protagonists from the previous film astonished me. In this installment, the mutant cannibalistic twins literally did nothing but sit on their asses. … Continue reading Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight 2 (2021) Review

There’s Someone Inside Your House (2021) Review

The trailer for this film reminded me of slashers like Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. What separates it from the two is time. The story is set in modern day, which is extremely relevant. There’s Someone Inside Your House is not only a long ass title that should get someone fired in marketing. It is also a commentary of how dangerous … Continue reading There’s Someone Inside Your House (2021) Review

Vampires (1998) Review

I have to say this is one of the worst vampire movies I’ve ever seen. I know it came out in the late 90s but damn. The protagonists were one-dimensional middle-aged men with no clear motivation. Sure, evil bloodsuckers are bad but you have to have a reason to hunt them. I’m certainly not putting my neck on the line for a big payday. Jack … Continue reading Vampires (1998) Review

His House (2020) Review

Netflix really stepped their game up this year. From foreign films to indie horror. His House is a about a married couple that escaped South Sudan to seek refuge in London. It is full of jump scares and suspense. Don’t expect your typical monster movie. This narrative is told from the perspective of not one but two unreliable narrators. The protagonists, Bol (Sope Dirisu) and … Continue reading His House (2020) Review

Halloween Kills (2021) Review

What can I say? The title of the movie sums up EVERYTHING. Michael Myers is not just a psycho in a mask. He is no longer The Boogeyman of Haddonfield, IL. No, no, no, this guy is a fuckin’ murder machine. Michael has ascended into Jason Vorhees territory. A couple of scenes I thought I saw him switching his hips. Michael was definitely feeling himself. … Continue reading Halloween Kills (2021) Review

Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight (2020) Review

If you’re a fan of movies like Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, then this is the perfect film for you. A group of teens are sent to a camp where they aren’t allowed to use any technology. Its is a timely subject with interesting commentary about being addicted to mobile devices. Couple that with some deformed cannibals and you got yourself a party. … Continue reading Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight (2020) Review

Spell (2020) Review

This film was corny but had redeeming qualities. It centered around Marquis (Omari Hardwick), who is a former resident of rural Appalachia. He planned a trip there with his wife and kids but something bad happened. Next thing you know, he was being held captive by a woman named Eloise (Loretta Divine). She delivered a creepy ass performance as a wicked Hoodoo doctor. The story … Continue reading Spell (2020) Review

Wrong Turn (2021) Review

Does the thumbnail of this post look stupid? Well that coincides with the film. Wrong Turn is not scary at all and a huge departure from the franchise. I don’t know what they were trying to do but it failed miserably. The formula was simple, a group of teenage party goers depart from a main road and find themselves battling for their lives against mutated … Continue reading Wrong Turn (2021) Review

The Story Monster Podcast – Episode 10, Candyman (2021) Review

My expectations were low going to the theater. I thought to myself, even if this is trash, we still have the original. Candyman is a contrived mess of a movie that did too much in too little time. The story was all over the place and relied heavily on social justice themes. It was a light retcon that reduced the titular slasher to cheap cosplay. … Continue reading The Story Monster Podcast – Episode 10, Candyman (2021) Review

The Walking Dead S10E22

The council reneged on their promise to Negan. He escaped prison/came back, saved Judith in a snow storm, and infiltrated The Whisperers to kill Alpha. So they repay him with exile to some ole dusty ass shack. At this point, if he snaps out, it’s going to be hard to have sympathy for the survivors. The time he spends in isolation caused him to have … Continue reading The Walking Dead S10E22